文化差異 Cultural Differences
我在網路上看到新聞報導片段中，打扮得美美的台灣美眉哭訴嫁到澳洲之後如何的水土不服，文化風俗差異之大……我沒有點進去看。
There was a video clip I glanced while surfing the social media, where a well-dressed up Taiwanese lady whinging about the inconvenience of living in Australia, and how difficult it is to adjust the cultural difference… I didn’t bother watching it.
沒有看影片的原因是覺得自己應該沒辦法對文化差異的碎念抱有同理心。要說澳洲沒有開二十四小時的便利商店是沒錯啦，但是到底是什麼年紀的人平常白天不用工作然後大半夜要去便利商店晃？以前剛到盧森堡工作的頭一個月對周遭還不熟（比如住在火車站旁的小型商務旅館，以及無法成功地用法語得知哪裡有大型超商），下了班五點五十多分想衝去隔壁的便利商店買點東西，店員卻隔著拉下來的鐵門指著手錶對我搖頭。那個才叫一個幹好吧。
I skipped watching that video as I don’t reckon that I can sympathise with the whinge over cultural differences. It’s an undeniable fact that we don’t have 24-hour convenient stores in Australia, but what age group are these people as if they don’t work during the day and need to go to convenient stores around the clock? When I first arrived in Luxembourg, I wasn’t familiar with my surroundings (i.e. lived in a serviced studio near the train station, and unsuccessful in finding a supermarket in French), as such I tried to get some food from a convenient store next to my work and the clerk pointed at his watch and shook his head at me through the pulled down gate — it was minutes to 6pm… and that was just fucked up.
我從十七歲單身離家之後，受到的文化衝擊要大過［便利商店不是二十四小時開］的問題，比如，在當時的大學裡是少數的亞州面孔，又比如，在語言不大通下要念個獎學金出來。我記得大一的時候聽同學講有一科通識科的教授教得很好，特別去報了那堂課，可是上的是地質學，真的是專有名詞聽不懂、認不得一個，每天晚上抱著字典和教科書查到半夜兩點，喝著台灣寄來的即溶咖啡，三餐裡面兩餐吃的是沃爾瑪牌、完全沒味道、最便宜的美金五十分一條的白吐司（剩下的一餐包在學校的學費裡）。印象深刻的是那堂課還是慘烈的拿了個Ｃ，結果那季沒有獎學金。
Since I left home by myself at the age of seventeen, I encountered bigger cultural shocks than ‘the convenient stores aren’t opening 24–7’; for example, I was one of few Asian faces in the campus, or, tried to get scholarship while I was struggling with my English. In my freshman year in uni, I registered a general study class as other classmates commented that the professor teaches well, and the class was an easy pass, etc. BUT little did I realise, the class was geology — and I could not for the life of me understand any of the terminologies. I had to bury myself in the dictionaries and textbooks till 2 am every night trying to decipher the content, drowned myself in the instant coffee mailed from Taiwan, and munched on Walmart-branded tasteless white breads which was 50 cents a loaf for two meals each day (the other meal was covered in the tuition). Sadly for that class I still got a C, and no, I didn’t get my scholarship for that quarter.
大一的時候常常買國際電話卡打電話回家，但是每次打電話回家都是哭訴日子過得多艱難。時間久了家人也聽得精神疲乏，最後旺姊（就是溫阿濟）終於爆發：是妳自己要求去美國念書的，又沒人逼妳，妳現在每次打電話回家抱怨一大堆是什麼意思。
……實話真傷人。
I often called home in my freshman year using those international phone cards, but every time I called home I complained about how tough things were for me. My complains were like broken records and they were taking a toll on my family. Eventually sista fired back, ‘it was you who asked mum and dad to study in the States, no one forced you. So what do you expect us to do complaining every time you called home?’
… truth hurts.
無三小路用通識之國際電話卡 Useless Common Sense of International Phone Cards
我開始念大學的那個年代手機還不普遍，也沒有無線上網的概念（是的我是西元後出生的人類）。所以要和家人通電話的話要去買國際電話卡來打，對於我在台灣的家人也是一樣。印象中有一陣子中華電信推出國際電話前三分鐘免費的促銷活動，所以旺娘（就是溫阿姆）真的是一點都不誇張的分秒必爭，掛斷、再打、掛斷、再打、掛斷、再打……當我發現我在六次的促銷爭霸輪迴中沒辦法完整地講完一句抱怨的話之後，我喪氣地告訴旺娘麥勾趴啊。這是旺娘對抱怨的有效處理？我想是的。
During the era I started uni, cell phones weren’t popular, nor was the wireless internet (and yes, I was born in AD, not BC). So if I wanted to call home I had to buy those international phone cards to use, and same for my family. At one point Chunghwa Telecom (main telecom provider in Taiwan) had a promotion, which was calling international numbers for free — with a catch — just the first three minutes. So my mum was really timing it by the second, then hung up, then called back, then hung up, then called back, then hung up, then called back… after trying to complete one-full-sentence-of-compliant in six rounds, I simply gave up and told my mum not to call back. Effective whinge management? I think so.
